Life Lessons from a Baby Shower or the Principle of Abundance or Ode to Vickie B.

I threw a baby shower this weekend.  It was technically my second one (my first was embarrassing in its numbers -- maybe 3 people were invited, I obviously had no clue what I was doing -- and the guest of honor ended up having such terrible morning sickness that day that she called to cancel).  This one, however, turned out to be much different. Who knew that a baby shower could teach me so much?  

The guest of honor is the one pictured above wearing the color that matched the shower colors.  She didn't even know!  It was fate.  I offered to throw her one since she is fairly new in the ward, having her first baby, and didn't know many people.  Sound familiar?  That was me three years ago, only I was so nervous that no one would show up for my baby shower that I turned down a sweet person in my new ward who offered to throw me one.  (I did accept a baby shower from some friends in my old ward after much encouragement from my husband, mother-in-law, and mother, but the worry it caused me was ridiculous...why can't I just "Be still and know that [He] is God" sometimes).  Oh, Ashlee, if only I could tell my scared self then what my wiser self now knows.  

The guest of honor was so sweet and willing to let me throw her one without any arm twisting.  I was amazed and grateful but also nervous and stressed as I don't feel creative or super well connected in the ward and worried that very few people would show up on account of me being affiliated with the whole thing.  At first I just went off the people she put on her list, not even thinking about adding the people I know, but after sending an Evite with very little response, I realized I needed to add to the list and contact people personally to tell them that the baby shower was also a welcoming shower for a new, sweet lady who had moved in.  The response, then, was incredible.  Not only did people want to come, they wanted to help, and a lot of them had never even met her.  It was such an outpouring of love from people!  What I was hoping would at least be a four person turn out (in addition to the host and myself) ended up being a fourteen person turn out...more than triple what I was expecting.  It reminded me of the principle of abundance I learned on my mission from a general authority's wife who spoke.  She talked about the three loaves and the two fishes that the little boy brought to the Savior and with that little offering Christ fed the five thousand and had leftovers as well.  I always feel like I only bring two loaves and three fishes to things, and yet the Lord always multiplies my efforts if I do my best and trust in Him.  And for me, there was the sweetest spirit in the room of ladies who just wanted to help and show their support and impart some of their wisdom.  I am still just amazed and humbled by the whole experience and realizing that people would have come to my shower and feeling sad that my old self didn't believe that.  I know that I needed to throw that shower just as much, or possibly more, than she needed to have the shower. 

 Victoria Bower April 15, 1950-November 16, 2012

Which brings me to my third title of the post...my ode to Vickie B. whose hair looks like a Christmas tree!  (She often said that when we'd visit her in the nursing home).  When I was in the worrying stages of this baby shower, my favorite quote from Jason's and my friend Vickie kept coming to my mind:  "That ole Jesus, He always has an ace up His sleeves!"  (I know it's a bit irreverent, but I think about if often when worry strikes).  We met her through the missionaries who were teaching her in a nursing home when we lived in Norwalk.  Jason and her really developed a sweet bond and they continued writing when we moved and we visited her a couple times.  One time we went to see her put on a whole performance of songs and poems and jokes for other nursing home residents. She had been preparing for a couple months.   When people weren't showing up at first, I could sense some disappointment in her eyes and words, but she came out with that Jesus quote and sure enough, after a little while, people started showing up and CNAs started wheeling other patients into the room to hear her performance.  It turned out to be such a sweet success.  I've never forgotten that line and the ace was again manifested at this baby shower.  Another reason I wanted to bring Vickie into this post is because last year we took Lily to meet her and she was in a different unit then she had been previously.  It was the basement unit and I have never been in a place so dreary and depressing in my life.  She was  not the Vickie we knew and loved.  She was such a light at that nursing home to nurses and other residents but not that time.  Something was wrong and different and she didn't even have her teeth anymore.  Jason kept writing her but was unable to get any calls going through and soon she wasn't responding to his letters.  Last month he had to visit someone else in Westport and knew that it was her birthday so he wrapped a bunch of sugar free candy to surprise her and when he arrived at the nursing home they told her she had passed away last November.  It was one of the saddest things I've heard and has broken our hearts ever since thinking about what they did with her body...cremate?  buried?  Or who went to her funeral, which she probably didn't have...She said she didn't have any family.  I am sure there was no obituary to honor her, so I wanted to do it here.  She was such a god fearing person and the brightest light at that nursing home.  She would lift my spirits when we'd visit and I will never forget her faith in her Savior that continues to be a blessing to me and keeps coming back to me when I face difficult things because "That ole Jesus, He always has an ace up His sleeves!"